I am a Homemaker

I have many roles in my life, of course, but I see “homemaker” as part of my identity. It’s not a consolation prize or because I’m not empowered. Now when asked about what I do for work, instead of telling people only about my for-profit pursuits as a self-employed person I’m now also sharing that I’m a homemaker. I even added it to my LinkedIn profile! The conversation usually goes something like this:

“I love cooking and cleaning! When Wayne comes home he has a hot, nutritious dinner made from scratch waiting for him on the table.”

I sometimes get a look, so I follow up with: “You know, like June Cleaver.”

“Well as long as it’s a choice,” is a common response, or a variation along the lines of concern that I’m fallen prey to antiquated societal dictates. No. Well yes less the dictates. It is a conscious choice! Is it so odd for a woman to consciously choose to find joy in house work or apartment work, wherever you live work? Does that make one a vapid throwback?

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Speaking of homemaking, today I made three different batches of gluten-free peanut butter cookies without following any recipes but recording each as I made it. It’s exciting to me that I’ve reached a point after years of being mentored by the vintage and antique recipes shared by homemakers from a century past that I’m now making recipes from scratch, not just the food. I’m not sure if I like batch two or three best so Wayne will help me decide when he gets home. I’m bringing the winning recipe cookies to Lemonade on the Lawn at church this Sunday.

A side note about peanut butter, why is it so hard to find organic peanut butter in a glass jar without added salt, sugar or palm oil?

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There’s also pot roast simmering on the stove which is a nice shoulder cut from an organic Maine farm. It’s for tomorrow’s dinner because it always tastes better the next night. Tonight we’re having a lasagna made with gluten-free pasta I made from scratch and eggplant from our garden.

A second sidenote is that I looked into buying a manual pasta press and almost every one has a Prop 65 Warning because they are coated with nickle that can leach into the pasta…even the one made in Italy. In today’s marketplace and state of the environment it’s getting more complicated to make wholesome choices, so we really need to pay attention.

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Homemaking is so much more than cooking and cleaning!

 

 

18 thoughts on “I am a Homemaker

    1. Thank you, but the truth is we’re both lucky! He works hard and sometimes six days a week outside our home all day yet still manages to do all of the yard/grounds work and most of the gardening year-round. I do a lot of shoveling in the winter when he’s at work because I love the exercise but he takes care of clearing the snow and roof shoveling before dawn, among things.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I do understand about patience, because for many years I didn’t want to learn to cook. I was living on so-called diet and healthy frozen meals. My attitude towards it changed when I started eating differently and lost weight. Then I realized that most of the processed foods weren’t on my new life menu if I wanted to continue on a healthier course. Suddenly, motivation appeared!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do cook our meals, but I use frozen vegetables. What do you think of frozen vegetables? Some say they’re best nutrition wise.. to me it’s very convenient especially when I cook for two. I also use canned beans and I’m not sure if they’re that healthy. They’re processed after all!

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        1. To be clear, i should have written “heavily” processed. Everything is processed to a degree. Frozen vegetables are an excellent choice because they are blanched when fresh (ideally). I use them often!

          Liked by 1 person

  1. I also love being a homemaker. I’ve literally had people start talking more slowly to me in a higher pitched voice the moment I state that I’m a homemaker. And doing so without children seems to evoke suspicion. But I see it as a form of Art de Vivre, bringing creativity and love into my home environment. I’m healthier when I’m able to make my own bone broth and prepare our meals from scratch, and I’m free to make our clothes and engage in activities that are part of a sustainable lifestyle. My brother also happens to be a homemaker and stay at home dad. He is very creative, loves cooking, woodwork, and sewing. His wife prefers having a career away from home. There is something very empowering about a fauxsteading lifestyle. We are able to be a one vehicle home, keeping expenses low. Have you read “Radical Homemakers” by Shannon Hayes? An empowering read that I highly recommend.

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    1. Good for you and good for your brother!

      I haven’t experienced that level of overt condescension, yikes. I agree that “homemaker” as an identity is not often associated with those of us who don’t have children in the home or who are men. By the way, I really admire your sewing skills. (My grandmother sewed most of her own clothes and some for me, too!) I also see homemaking as a spiritual practice which sounds like you do, too.

      Can you please tell me a little more about “fauxsteading”? Are those homesteading poseurs? 😀

      I hadn’t read that book, it sounds very interesting, thanks for the recommendation!

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      1. Oops, sorry for the delayed response! Fauxsteading is a word that I made up and the promptly forgot that other people don’t live inside my head. I also call it apartment-steading – the lifestyle whereby one does all sorts of homesteady things in their urban life – like me – but isn’t actually a homesteader. I am a secret, stealthy, sustainability ninja…

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  2. It’s so refreshing to see you enthusiastically embracing your homemaking role. It’s really looked upon with suspicion in these modern times. There was a commercial not so long ago about little girls running in a field and the narrator intoning how they can be anything they want these days – teacher, scientist, government leaders, etc. All well and good and I love that, too, but they left out homemaking whether or not that includes raising children. That should be a valid choice also, imo. And I love what Melanie said about her brother. Whatever works for each family! I was a homemaker for 2 1/2 years before my daughter started school. And now retirement is looming in front of me in a few short years and I am very much looking forward to being able to be a homemaker again!

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    1. Aileen! You just reminded me of a post written in 2013 from my old 1950s diet blog. I still have it archived and this speaks to what you are saying! Here is the original post:
      **********
      I came across multiple headlines that spoke of the “sexist” and “1950s” (as in “Neanderthal”) obituary of a very loved mother. The criticisms show me what’s wrong with America today: “Feminists” assuming that some women couldn’t possibly place a higher value on the personal relationships to family in their lives over their professional achievements, and if they or others do, they deserve to be bullied and picked apart online to teach ’em a lesson.

      The crime committed against women? The NY Times obit “Yvonne Brill, a Pioneering Rocket Scientist, Dies at 88,” was written by a man who opened with: She made a mean beef stroganoff, followed her husband from job to job and took eight years off from work to raise three children. “The world’s best mom,” her son Matthew said. Mind you the headline is that she is a Pioneer Rocket Scientist, so it’s not like it wasn’t mentioned from the start.

      Writes Doug Barry from Jezebel: It should go without saying, but the problem with the original obituary is that a male scientist would never — NEVER — be hailed as a “the world’s best dad” before being hailed as an important scientific innovator.

      But rather than maybe seeing THAT as a problem– because perhaps many men WOULD prefer to be memorialized that way over what they accomplished or did at work– he attacks and assumes that no one in their right mind could possibly value that over their career. That’s the norm these days- attack anyone who doesn’t agree with you, and that usually means the idea that women can and should be proud of their personal choices.

      The NYT removed the highly offensive opening reference to “mean beef stroganoff” and replaced it with, “She was a brilliant rocket scientist.” Yet when I read the entire obit which was mostly focused on Mrs. Brill’s career, the personal remarks from her family including that she preferred to be called “Mrs.” over “Ms.” lead me to believe that perhaps even she would have taken delight in the original opening of her obit.

      Why would people assert that Mrs. Brill had no good reason to feel good about supporting her husband by moving when his job relocated them? From the obit:

      They moved to Connecticut in 1952 when Mr. Brill got a job there. She followed him again when he later got a job in New Jersey. She did not mind the moves, her son Matthew said. She would say, “Good husbands are harder to find than good jobs.”

      Writes anonymous user (of course) EvilQueen2013 on Jezebel: Since when has “following your husband from job to job” become an achievement? These “experts” dictate what accomplishments should be highlighted first and then devolve so low as to imply that they are actually shameful pursuits.

      When my (now ex) husband was still an active duty US Marine, I followed him from one duty station to another until one day he followed me to civilian life. I learned from that experience, both personally and professionally because I worked as a career counselor and resume writer back during those years. There are millions of “trailing spouses”–men and women who choose to support their loved one’s career while balancing their own and that it IS an achievement!

      I don’t know why it’s so hard for women to have their personal life choices respected when it involves being a supportive wife, homemaker or mother because it’s what they choose and love. Mrs. Brill was able to juggle being the wife, mom and cook she wanted to be while also being a pioneering rocket scientist- perhaps they are jealous?
      ******
      I’m so happy for you that soon you will once again be a homemaker, Aileen!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, that is just shameful! Her life choices were apparently fulfilling. All of them! And why not, if it made her happy? And I happen to think that a “mean beef stroganoff” would be a delight and not offensive. We can do nearly anything we want these days both men and women. If some choose a more traditional role they shouldn’t be denigrated for that choice. As you said, juggling that kind of a career with her personal responsibilities is actually quite a feat! I totally agree with you, Averyl.

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  3. Oh my gosh, I love you, Averyl!!!!
    I have a quote from C.S. Lewis I cherish. “The Homemaker is the ultimate career. All other careers exist to support this ultimate career.”
    And it’s true!
    I’ve heard that condescending voice too But I realized the reason why they don’t list it as a career is because it isn’t taxable.
    I remember hearing a speech from Mr. Obama who was saying he was hoping to help all women out of the house and into careers. And that’s when it dawned on me : more people in the workforce means more taxable income.
    Homeschooling and homemaking kind messes with that

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Vienna, it’s lovely to hear from you. That’s a wonderful quote. Interesting theory about homemaking not being a taxing way of life! hmmmm

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