Going Gray, Staying True to Myself

Heads up! This isn’t a judgement about men and women who choose to color their gray. It’s about my choice to let my hair “betray” my age. I wish that it was a simple decision but the pressure to pretend that we’re immune to looking a day over 30 is immense. I’ve shared that Barbara Bush was a silver hair inspiration for me. Then, this summer, I had been eyeing the silver hair of a very stylish, elegant lady who attends my church. I finally approached her and let her know how much I loved it! Her response? “Thanks! And it’s so cheap to maintain!” I laughed because that’s some good old New England thrift right there, not to mention self-confidence!

Averyl Gray Hair.jpg

There is nothing shameful or ugly about going gray. It also doesn’t mean that women who choose to not color their hair are “letting themselves go”. I figure I’m saving hundreds of dollars every year, too, not to mention saving my health by not exposing myself to the toxic chemicals in hair dyes!

It is getting easier for me to accept that it’s fine to have hair or anything else about my appearance for that matter that others may find unacceptable. It doesn’t mean that I’m immune to feeling hurt sometimes but I no longer stay in that place. I also no longer spend money on something that doesn’t matter to me as a temporary illusory means to feel better about myself.

The more I focus on what I truly value, the simpler decision-making becomes. I just wish that it was easier sometimes.

Can anyone reading this relate? I’d love to read your thoughts on self-acceptance and going gray!


26 thoughts on “Going Gray, Staying True to Myself

  1. Gray is just another color! πŸ™‚

    My hair has been going gray since I was in my 20’s (I’m in my 30’s now) and I choose not to dye them. Mostly because I’m lazy, but also because I hate the thought of the chemicals going down the drain.

    I’m glad you’re staying true to yourself and not subjecting your hair to chemicals! Also love the New England thriftiness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thanks, Heather! That’s great advice. I’ve always been told that I’m a “free spirit” but ageism can be a tough one to confront. I’ll keep at it. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yep, I’m with you. My hair inspo was always Jamie Lee Curtis. I have opted out of the narrative that aging, and looking like you’re aging, is letting yourself go. No one faults a tree for having too many rings, right? I won’t dye my hair for all the reasons stated, but I also finally let myself have the extremely short hair I always loved since the age of 2, when I begged my mother to let me have my hair like a boy. All through the years, I kept cutting it off, then letting it grow out, but even when long, people always asked why I never wore it down. Because I didn’t want long hair! But there’s this idea that a woman’s sexuality requires her hair to be long for the sake of seduction and her appearance to be youthful. But my worth as a person is not in my ability to be visually appealing according to someone else’s standards. The narrative ends when we stop participating in it and agreeing with it. Good for you for opting out. Count me in! And by the way, I’m sexy and I know it. Couldn’t care less whether anyone agrees!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember when you cut your hair! It looks great, is low maintenance and you save on hair products! There is also a social “suggestion” (mandate) that women of a certain age are no longer supposed to have long hair. As for me. I’m aiming for the aging school marm/librarian look. I let Wayne know before he married me! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! So true about the short hair and expectations. I think I hesitated because I was always afraid of looking “middle aged”. But I AM middle aged. And I wish I had done it a long time ago, because I feel so fierce this way. Librarians are cool, IMO.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I have a friend with silver strands like yours who highlights them blue. It’s quite eye catching.
        Didn’t older ladies do blue rinses in the 50s?


        1. Some did, yes. I once even had a 1950s blue/gray coloring kit on display in my bathroom because the graphics were cute. There’s nothing wrong with coloring hair. I don’t follow beauty social trends even if it’s vintage/old school unless it’s right for me personally. πŸ˜‰

          Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a few strands here and there at 44, and as much as it took me by surprise at first, I find that I rather admire them…I’ve earned them. We’ll see how I feel as more pop up. Now, if we were discussing the two deep wrinkles between my eyebrows from spending hours a day concentrating on a computer screen…that I don’t love so much. Still not ready to let someone stab Botox into my face, though. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Same…well, I can’t help getting a little weirded out when someone’s face doesn’t quite move…there was an incident with my cousin one Thanksgiving. Took me most of the day to figure out what was going on with her face. But I sure didn’t say anything! Hahaha!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Averyl, I always thought I would color my hair, if I went gray, but, now that I’m 62, I kind of like it. I would look abnormal at this age without a bit of gray. Besides I really don’t like the idea of massaging a brew of toxic chemicals into my scalp every 6 weeks! (BTW, your hair is beautiful! I think you’re doing the right thing by not coloring it. Why mess with perfection?)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Kathy! ❀ It's true that you don't really know until you're at the age of when your younger self made plans for you if you will really adhere to them or realize that you have an entirely different perspective.


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