When I first started “eating retro” and lost weight over ten years ago I was leaving behind the tyranny of an insatiable appetite which seemingly stemmed from two issues: my relationship to food and eating junk. Underlying the usual analysis of overeating and weight loss was that I was feeling sorry for myself. Why? Because I couldn’t eat as much as I wanted when I wanted without consequences. I was also attached to the illusion that a lifestyle of eating too much, especially sugar and refined carbs was somehow good for my soul. I mistook edible artifice for nourishment. I was always “hungry” but was feeding the wrong appetite. I was focused on eating all the things instead of seeing all the gifts from a healthy relationship to and with food. Why would I, right? Shouldn’t I be entitled to unlimited access to what was mine? Did God put food on my table? No! I worked hard to put that food on the table, and why even talk about God when all I wanted was an Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen.
With my acceptance of the impermanence of things has come an increasing rejection of disposables, in particular paper napkins. For many years I’ve collected vintage kitchen linens which have amassed in my cupboards. I’ve been using my vintage tea towels for nine years now to dry my dishes after I moved here (no dishwasher), but napkins, however, were off-limits because I was worried about them getting stained. I enjoyed keeping them “new” and simply admired them from time to time except for use on special occasions. However, when I broke open the still packaged mind-century cloth napkins to use on the honeymoon harvest table earlier this week it got me thinking: Why not enjoy what I have right now? Isn’t being alive and well enough to eat and having a full plate of food a special occasion?! Isn’t that a way to not just say grace at a meal but show it?!
Pretty things don’t need to stay sealed and safe because life can get dirty. It’s because life can get dirty that I want to stay clean, with style.